


Quiet Meanings

by DilemmaOf_A_Username



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Gen, Gwen-centric (Merlin), Language of Flowers, M/M, Merthur is way in the background, Pre-Canon, Season/Series 01, Symbolism, Though Not Very Explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:15:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27813658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DilemmaOf_A_Username/pseuds/DilemmaOf_A_Username
Summary: The quiet language of flowers was something that Gwen learned in her mother's lap.Eirene was the one who taught Gwen that flowers had their own hidden language. Gwen would sit in her mother’s lap and look at the pretty pictures in Eirene’s precious book. She knew it was old, and Eirene never let her touch it alone because it was expensive, but Gwen loved it all the same. She learned to read from that book and learned the secret language of the world around her while wrapped in her mother’s arms
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 17
Collections: Merlin Holidays 2020





	1. Columbine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sushishin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sushishin/gifts).



> This is my gift to sushishin for Merlin Holidays 2020! I hope you like it, sushishin!

Gwen’s mother liked to be outside of Camelot. She used to tell Gwen and Elyan that the smokey, thick air in Camelot’s lower town was bad for them before she hustled them past the city walls and into the green pastures and forests that bordered the citadel. She said the noise would give them headaches as she forced them out into the cold fall air. She said the peace was good for their souls. 

Eirene’s love for the forests and meadows made Gwen’s father shake his head fondly. Tom would chuckle as Eirene pulled on her cloak and picked up her basket, ready to be filled to the brim with berries and flowers. Before she could leave, Tom would catch Eirene’s hand and press a soft kiss to her lips as Gwen and Elyan squealed in disgust and their parents laughed. Eirene would rush out of their house, her children skipping along behind her. The trio would come back in the evening, ready to make supper and arrange bouquets around the small cottage. Warmth and laughter filled the home, and Gwen would fall asleep wrapped up in her mother’s arms, the scent of flowers in the air. 

\-----

Eirene was the one who taught Gwen that flowers had their own hidden language. Gwen would sit in her mother’s lap and look at the pretty pictures in Eirene’s precious book. She knew it was old, and Eirene never let her touch it alone because it was expensive, but Gwen loved it all the same. She learned to read from that book and learned the secret language of the world around her while wrapped in her mother’s arms.

\----- 

Gwen’s mother used to pick the prettiest purple flowers. Eirene said they looked like doves; Gwen thought they looked like fairies. When she told Eirene that, Gwen’s mother gave her a sharp look. 

“Gwen,” Eirene said sternly, “You are not allowed to talk about fairies.”

Gwen pouted, but she remembered what happened to little Aaron down the road. He spoke of seeing fairies and then the knights came and took him. Gwen hadn’t seen Aaron ever again. 

So, Gwen stopped comparing the dove flowers to fairies, but Eirene never stopped bringing them home. 

\-----

When Eirene got sick, the physician said it was an illness of the lungs. Eirene gave a painful laugh and said it was the bad air of Camelot. Tom hushed her, shooting a wary look at the old doctor, but the old man just shook his head, handed Elyan and vial of medicine, and patted Gwen on the head before leaving. 

Gwen sat next to her mother, day and night, trying desperately to soothe Eirene’s ragged breathing with chamomile teas and honey mixed with hot water. But with every passing day Eirene got worse. The flowers in their home wilted, and Tom seemed to wilt with them, the worry and anxiety eating at him. Elyan got angry and would storm out of the house. He only returned after Eirene had fallen into a fitful sleep beside Tom and Gwen had drifted into a doze on her small cot. The sickly smell of dying flowers swirled through the house. 

\-----

Days before Eirene died, Gwen went to pick dove flowers. 

Gwen was desperate, Tom was tired, and Elyan was getting angrier. Eirene was only awake for a couple hours a day. The dove flowers were Gwen’s only hope.

In the early dawn light, before Elyan awoke but after Tom had left for the forges, Gwen snuck out of the house. Eirene was sleeping, her breathing thick and shallow, and Gwen swallowed heavily before tiptoeing out the door. 

Gwen scurried through the lower town, her cloak snapping behind her in the frigid spring air. She slipped through the citadel’s gates while the guards were inspecting a grain cart and ran to her mother’s favorite meadow. 

Bending over to catch her breath, Gwen caught sight of a spray of purple. 

Dove flowers swayed in the wind as Gwen marched towards them, resolute and desperately hopeful. Gwen was too distressed to cut the flowers; instead, she ripped them up in large handfuls and tucked them beneath her cloak. Turning on her heel, Gwen stumbled back to Camelot, running through the gates, and returning home before her mother woke up, though Elyan was already gone. 

Gwen placed the flowers on the rough table, frowning at the crushed petals and dirty stems. They looked nothing like the beautiful cuts Eirene used to bundle up with twine. Tears started to stream down Gwen’s face and sobs suddenly wretched out of her body. Shaking with grief, Gwen stood in the middle of the room, staring at the purple flowers that were supposed to help her mother. The mangled flowers taunted her, and Gwen cried harder. 

A hand fell on Gwen’s shoulder, and she gave a small cry of shock. Looking up, Gwen gasped. Eirene was up, and was stroking her daughter’s face, smoothing the tears away. 

“Shh, sweetheart,” Eirene murmured. Gwen turned and wrapped her arms around her mother. Eirene stroked Gwen’s hair. “Shh, they’re beautiful.”

The smell of dirt and dew floated through the house.

\-----

It took Gwen an entire year to pick flowers after her mother passed away. Three days after bringing half-dead dove flowers home, Eirene slipped away during the night, and the flowers died with her. 

The odor of death was covered by fresh flowers Tom had picked, but Gwen could still smell it. For a year, the smell of flowers turned her stomach, and she refused to leave the citadel’s walls. 

\-----

Tom brought Gwen to the king’s castle when the Lady Morgana was looking for maidservants. Gwen wasn’t sure why she was chosen, but a month before the first anniversary of her mother’s death, she was standing before the Lady, ready to do as she was told. 

Morgana was kind, and simply asked Gwen to clean her room and replace her linens. But after a week of taking care of the young Lady, Gwen noticed her restlessness and the dark bags under her eyes. Lady Morgana was having nightmares, and it was hurting her. 

(“They bring peace to a home, Guinevere.” Eirene was weaving a crown of flowers, making sure to include her favorite purple doves. “They are best when a person needs love and light.”)

The next day Gwen brought a bunch of dove flowers with her. Lady Morgana gave her the biggest smile she had ever seen on a Lady and wrapped her in a hug. 

The room was perfumed by the flowers, summer air breezed through the open windows, and Gwen felt at peace.


	2. Sweet William

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stalked sushishin's Tumblr and her collection of Will posts were beautiful and wonderful and I wanted to write about them. I didn't really write what I wanted (Gwen got away from me), but I had to include him. I hope you like it.

When she arrived in Ealdor, Gwen didn’t think much of Will. Sure, he was Merlin’s best friend, but he seemed combative and confrontational, not Gwen’s style. Not that there was anything particularly wrong with things that weren’t her style, of course, but Will was just. He just- Will made Merlin sad. After talking with Will, Merlin became distant and suddenly seemed unsure of himself. It made Gwen mad. So no, she hadn’t thought much of Will. 

Until he almost gave his life for Merlin, that is. 

\----- 

Gwen could hear shouting from outside Hunith’s home. Gwen had gone to gather some wildflowers to brighten up the room (and to cover the bitter smell of herbs and healing poultices), and in the time she was gone, it seemed Arthur, Merlin, and Will had gotten into a row. Again. 

Walking in, Gwen made a beeline to Hunith. Handing over the flower and returning Hunith’s pained smile, Gwen finally turned and focused on the shouting match. 

“You are an absolute bloody idiot!” Arthur’s hands were on Merlin’s shoulders and he was shaking him as he yelled. Merlin’s face was set and defiant, and Will was yanking on one of Merlin’s hands. 

Will was sneering and glaring at Arthur, but it was Merlin who spoke. 

“I will be going back to Camelot, sire, whether you like it or not,” as he spoke, Merlin pried Will’s hand off his and pushed Arthur back, forcing the prince to let go of his shoulders. Gwen was honestly surprised Arthur and Will let go. 

Arthur made to interrupt, but Merlin glared him into silence. “And,” Merlin said sternly, turning to face Will, “You will not be coming with me.”

Will glared and crossed his arms. Merlin glared back. Arthur looked frustrated. Hunith, Gwen noted, looked ready to swat them all with the spoon she was using to mix up a paste of herbs. 

“Merlin, don’t be ridiculous, I can’t leave you alone with this prat,” Will spat out, pointing at Arthur, who looked very sour. “I need to make sure he doesn’t kill you the second you cross Camelot’s walls!”

“I won’t kill Merlin!” Arthur burst out, face turning quite red. “I would never do that!”

Will sneered. “Of course not, your highness,” Will’s tone made Gwen stiffen. She was used to Merlin’s insubordination, but Will seemed filled with true contempt. The kind of contempt that could do real harm. 

“You won’t do him any harm,” Will continued, “Until your father commands you to. Then you’ll burn Merlin at the stake for the magic that saved your life.” 

Arthur started shouting at Will again, angry and hurt, and Will responded in kind. Merlin, on the other hand, had turned pale and looked faintly ill. Almost like he believed what Will said. 

Gwen grabbed Merlin’s hand and pulled him into the corner of his mother’s home, and Hunith took her spoon and gave Will a solid whack. Then she did the same to Arthur. Both men were stunned into silence, and Hunith glared at them both. 

“Neither of you has the power to decide what Merlin should or should not do,” Hunith stated, sounding rather angry. “It is his choice if he wishes to return to Camelot, stay in Ealdor, or try and fly to the moon. And Will,” She said, a disappointed expression on her face, “I know you worry, but to accuse Arthur of something he has not done is out of line. You are better than that.” 

With a sigh, Hunith turned away from Arthur and Will, who looked ashamed, but still angry. “Arthur, please go fetch me some more wood. Merlin, you go with him. Will, lay back down, you still have an arrow wound in your side.”

\----- 

After Arthur and Merlin left, Gwen helped Hunith get Will back up on the table. He looked mulish but did as Hunith said. Morgana breezed in a while later, arms full of wood and telling Hunith not to worry, she saw Arthur and Merlin in the woods, and they didn’t seem to be arguing. She winked at Gwen, but Gwen wasn’t quite sure what that meant. 

\----- 

Apparently, Arthur and Will had sorted out their differences while Gwen and Morgana had been helping some of the villagers with mending the fences ruined during the bandit attacks. According to Merlin, the two were blustering idiots who didn’t share a lick of sense between them and had somehow come to an agreement that Merlin couldn’t protect himself, so they were going to do it for him. Gwen agreed with Merlin; they would all be dead if not for him, but it was good that Arthur and Will weren’t fighting at all times. They had entered a sort of uneasy truce where they avoided each other but also refused to leave Merlin alone. 

Merlin had taken to trying to get away from them and started to follow Morgana and Gwen around instead or he hid with Hunith, helping her bake or clean or repair the house. When he wasn’t hiding, Merlin was exchanging flustered looks with Arthur and Will looked on in a sort of fond disgust. 

It was a strange situation all around. 

\----- 

A few hours before they were to depart for Camelot, Gwen spotted a bright flush of flowers near Hunith’s garden. They seemed to have sprung up overnight. Gwen ambled over, eager to pick a few and carry them home with her so she could press them as a small reminder of her time in Ealdor. But when she got closer and recognized the flower, she snorted. 

\----- 

Will was standing next to Merlin, looking sullen as Merlin readied Arthur’s horse. Gwen was sure he was going to start on how it was unfair that Arthur didn’t do up his own horse, so Gwen grabbed him and pulled him away before he could. 

The shock on his face was hilarious, but Merlin’s face was even better. Once Gwen was sure they were far enough away for a semi-private conversation, she pulled the flowers she had cut that morning out of her handkerchief. 

“I know you’re trying and that you truly care for Merlin and for Ealdor,” Gwen commented lightly, obviously taking Will by surprise. “While I don’t know you very well, I can see that, at least.”

She handed him the bouquet of Sweet William’s that she’d wrapped in a strip of cloth from the blouse that had been torn during the bandit fight. “It’s hard, to see your friend go away and be in danger, but he has us, and we’ll protect him well.”

Will took the flowers from her, and for a second Gwen swore he looked touched. Then he set his face and rolled his eyes. Crossing his arms (but not letting go of the bouquet, she noticed), he scoffed. 

Gwen rolled her eyes back but gave Will a soft smile before she walked back to her horse. Arthur was arguing with Merlin over his saddle and Morgana was already seated and looked several seconds away from leaving on her own. Will and Hunith hugged Merlin goodbye when Arthur finally got onto his mount, and Gwen swung up onto her mare. Just as she was turning the horse, Will called her name. 

He pressed a flower into her hand, a bit mangled, but still pretty. A violet. She smiled in delight and Will scoffed at her again before stepping back and waving them all off. 

Gwen supposed it was to be expected. After all, underneath his gruff exterior, Will was quite gallant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet William - Gallantry  
> Violet - Loyalty, devotion, faithfulness
> 
> Yes, yes, I am very smart and the first person to think of this. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Tansy

When Uther murdered her father, Gwen collapsed. She was weak in the moment, but she was strong and upright in her fury every moment after. 

\----- 

The first anniversary of her father’s death came, and Gwen walked into the castle with tansy’s in her hair. Morgana complimented her on the arrangement and how beautiful they looked with her skin, and Gwen thanked her. 

Arthur said they were nice, and Gwen gave him a small smile. 

Merlin asked her what kind of flower she had in her hair. He became quiet after she told him. He gave her a hug and then wandered off, a sad look in his distant gaze. He must know what a tansy meant then; he was a physician’s apprentice and a mage, after all. Gwen knew he felt guilty that he couldn’t prevent Tom’s death. It wasn’t Merlin’s fault, but Gwen wasn’t able to comfort him today.

\----- 

Once a year, Gwen allowed herself to feel unchecked rage and hostility. Today, Gwen sent every angry thought she had towards Uther. And when he passed her in the halls, she let herself give him icy glares. Most of the time he didn’t notice. But during dinner, from her place behind Morgana, she swore she saw him flinch and shy away from her. Just for a moment. 

And in that moment Gwen was appeased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tansy - hostile thoughts, declaration of war
> 
> I sometimes wonder if Gwen is constantly angry. She went through so much.


	4. Petunias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short, very quick

Morgana had almost killed Uther for Gwen. It was something Gwen tried her hardest to not think about. It filled Gwen with a vicious sort of warmth, to know that her friend was willing to destroy the man that had stolen her father from her. It was the sort of warmth that was best kept hidden; Gwen knew that if she let it show she would never be able to get control of it again. 

Gwen wasn’t going to become vicious. She valued the gentleness that she cultivated. But it she appreciated Morgana’s anger and righteous fury and admired it whenever it was unleashed on the world. 

For Morgana’s birthday Gwen gifted her with a scarf embroidered with purple petunias.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Petunias - anger, rage  
> Purple - regal, royalty


	5. Apple Blossoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short, very quick Part II

Merlin had been ill for a week when Arthur walked in with a ridiculous branch of flowers. He dropped it in Merlin’s lap, told him to stop being such a girl, and walked out so quickly he almost ran into the doorframe. 

The flowers made Merlin sneeze, but he refused to let Gwen take them. He swore his cheeks were red from fever before burying his face in his pillow. Gwen was finally able to take the apple tree branch from Merlin, shaking her head over the choice of flower. Preference, indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apple Blossoms - Preference
> 
> I am v subtle.

**Author's Note:**

> Purple Columbine - It is said to look like doves in flight, and symbolizes peace.  
> Eirene - the name for the Greek goddess of peace (I stole it because I am very original)
> 
> I am sick with nerves, posting this, and I know it's fairly short. I loved the Gwen and Flowers prompt, and I took it and ran (not very far, but I did!).
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
